It's mind boggling to go through depression. What's more boggling is realizing that you are going through it all over again. Over all, it's been a slow process, but a few weeks ago seems to have put me over the top. Imagine: your husband has 21 day active training and is gone for most of the month busting his butt. His unit is about to mobilize to a war zone (not him though, but that will create it's own problems) and you have no idea how long he will be gone with them while they are in another state getting more prepared. The week that he is "home" but still going to work everyday, you find out that your aunt that is eight years younger than you, dies. All be it, she had been ill and near death for about 2 months, it's still a blow to you that is hard. But I realize what is going on and I am just taking things one day at a time. I actually laid down yesterday afternoon! Last night was also the first night in about five that I stayed up past midnight. I wasn't tired! I am not going to push myself anymore to be super woman. And I am going to hold my teen children accountable for helping out instead of just doing everything for them. Even the toddler and preschooler are going to help out. They love to help out.
So, for the last two weeks, I have been at home, trying to grieve my aunt's passing, keep up with four kids and run a sewing business.... I am happy to report that all the kids are alive. The house, although a mess, is still standing and thanks to a new roof, there are no leaks. The business is picking up and I am trying to get ready for two craft shows in the next two months.
Here are a few things that I have been working on. When I sew, it calms me, really. And taking the time to step away from the computer has been good too. I feel so out of it though. But hopefully October will hold some better things for me and business.
Here's to a better future and learning from the past!