Sometimes when a loved one passes, you hold on to them through things that they loved and cherished while they were here on earth. A favorite piece of clothing, a trinket, a pet. Holding that item, helps to make the pain of losing that person a little less painful.
Until you have to deal with the loss of that object.
Last week, my Pop-Pop's last pet, his German Shepard, Curly, met him up at the Rainbow Bridge. Curly hadn't been doing too well this last year. She had to have major surgery on her jaw, being a Shepard, she had hip problems, and she was on daily doses of insulin for about 6 months I guess. A dog that nearly five years ago was spry enough to kill a family cat with one chomp of her jaw, had been lying around the house feeling too puny to lick the sweet face of a toddler.
See, Pop-Pop passed on about seven years ago. He had his own long road. Cancer of the esophagus. He battled with that for over 2 years with blood transfusions and chemo till he told them that he had enough. Two weeks before his passing, he had his second leg amputated due to diabetes. Grandma said that things had been looking up to him until that last day. She knew halfway through the day, that it was his last. They had been married fifty some odd years.
When I heard of Curly's passing, I immediately wondered how my Grandma was doing. Later in the day, I walked over to my parent's house, where she lives, to check on her. She was doing okay. Teared up a little now and then, but the talking helped. I had somewhere to go that day, so it was a quick visit. I think that hardest part for her was that Curly passed two days after Pop-Pop's birthday. To us, that is significant. She worries about her other big dog, Scrappy, more than herself. Scrappy came to live with her two weeks after Pop-Pop's passing. We think that he was put in her yard for a reason, Curly needed a playmate.
See we gave cheetah is middle name in honor of his grandpa (his daddy's dad) and my Pop-Pop. And cheetah calls my dad "Pa-Pop" sometimes. Came up with himself too. But when Curly passed, I had to deal, all over again, the loss of my grandpa. The one that took me in when my mom married his son when I was nine and treated me no different then his blood grandkids. It also made me realise that he wasn't here for some of the best things in my life that have happened since hes been gone. My second wedding, this time to my soulmate, the birth of my last two children. I know that he is always with my in spirit, and sometimes I hear a laugh that sounds like him in the wind, but I miss him and his hugs! He had a rough exterior, but I remember the softer side of him. The loving side.
Sometimes a good cry will make you feel better. Sometimes a walk down memory lane will bring you more smiles. Here is a picture that I found tonight. You can see Curly laying down under my mom. I wish I could find the video of her and Scrappy with my son's robodino!